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Our blog analysis of Santa Claus’ garden potential leads us to offer a unique Illuminated Santa Claus, ideal for use on balconies and specially tailored for Postmodern East Asian Christian Christmas markets. Buy now! This may be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.The special Gardenvisit.com prices are $10 in plastic or $10m with Damien Hirst style diamond encrustation and, you must agree, much more cheerful imagery (Paypal is our preferred payment gateway but gold bars are an acceptable substitute, if delivered to our Zurich vault anonymously).
[With thanks to M J Hop for help with product placement etc]
Good idea re selling Santa Claus here,Can we put our Santa to sell here??? I have an alive Santa Claus to sell and it is 70% discount. Is it allowed in this blog?^.^
We would like to help but there are risks in selling living people, even Santas. I think slavery in England ended when the Romans left (about 1,600 years ago) and it after 1833 it was against the law for British people to have anything to do with the trade. A Santa robot would be OK.
He is a very jolly and friendly santa – and although I am not a fan of Damien Hirst’s art, rather like the encrusted version shown. Is there a market for reindeers this year?
[ http://www.flickr.com/photos/buildersstudio/3072548120/ ]
Not sure about the reindeer market, or about how global warming will affect them. Presumably they would not enjoy the extra warmth. But if humans have to use less energy then there could be fewer of them in the colder parts of the planet. Change always results in losers and gainers.
Reindeer are rather adaptable, having a winter coat and a summer coat…but yes climate change could ultimately affect their ‘common’ status.
[ http://www.ultimateungulate.com/Artiodactyla/Rangifer_tarandus.html ]
It is assumed that their predators, bears and wolves will similarly face difficulties as temperatures warm.
If the Reindeer comes critically endangered no doubt Sami culture will also suffer:
“Used as beasts of burden and farmed for milk, meat and their hides, reindeer are the pivotal species in the culture of the Sami people.”
And Santa will have fierce competition for the available reindeer at Christmas time. Expect market prices to rise with scarcity and invest now in reindeer stock….$.
I wonder if we should develop a subscription-only, Investment Advice Service as part of the Gardenvisit Blog. Tony Blair seems to be making many fortunes with his hot tips about what is going to happen in the next year or so. Just think how well we might do by looking hundreds of years into the future. We could have 365 Christmases/year – and Globalised Santa would be bang ‘on the money’ as a corporate logo. A big problem with this is that much as I love Stille Nacht and the King’s College Carols, I cannot stand in-store Xmas Muzak. It is not even kitch: its flab. A West Indian steel band in Oxford Street, heard last Christmas, did a far better job of transmuting the carols. Who can find the worst example of carol singing?
Here’s my vote.
[ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chipmunk_Song_%28Christmas_Don%27t_Be_Late%29 ]
One Christmas a year is optimal, with allowance made for differing time zones ie. We don’t want to be known ‘Downunder’ as the Aussie’s that stole Christmas! (due to our Christmas arriving first… [ http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_s7YxrPsi_hY/TQbjESJpgvI/AAAAAAAAAkA/SN-uAWfljoQ/s1600/Scenery%2B-%2BMountains%2B03.jpg ])
The reindeer scarcity problem has been given a little thought here in Australia too…
[ http://travel.ninemsn.com.au/img/holiday-types/kids-family/santa-in-canoe.jpg ]
Perhaps you could suggest some alternative music for instore Christmas celebrations?
Great to see that the Snowman has also adapted to beach life, though his apparant lack of sunscreen worries me http://img4.coastalliving.com/i/2008/01/SS-snowman1024.jpg Santa is pretty good on a surf board too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAbFWE1cruk
Re Christmas musak, maybe honesty is the missing ingredient
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDfjx1RAUtQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy2WBkcv4so
Yes surfing Santa has certainly put the fun back into Christmas. (The multiple surfing santas made me laugh!) Perhaps he is not a fan of shopping either? Perhaps he shops online?
Perferred first utube clip to the second (zzzz). The first clip could provide a little light relief at the time of maximum Christmas shopping pressure (when the crowds reach a zenith) and remind everyone in a humorous way not to forget their manners!
I have seen a few attempts at Santa jokes, which seem to come from Melancholics Anonymous eg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxck83RuAdc
Are you sure this Santa wish was not a preparation for New Year’s and last of the Desparate and Dateless Balls? [ http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/news/net-beats-desperate/story-e6frf00r-1111116296437 ] and [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAiYMtfRcgg ].
Thank you! I have not seen such a good Michael Palin episode for ages. Pity about the D&D having ended. Maybe they should have had a change of venue, or just changed the dress code Full Moon Party.
Haha…The buddha with the ipad is priceless…